I met with a woman today that spent fifteen minutes explaining and apologizing to me about how she had to stop pursuing a business in interior design. I went away from the conversation feeling a mix of emotions–on one hand, I was sad for her that it didn’t turn out the way she thought it would, and on the other hand, I wondered why she felt she had to apologize to ME. As if I, as a business coach, felt let down that the work we had done together didn’t, well…”work”.
I do not need an apology. I do not need any excuses or explanations. I need you to do the things that you need to do. My success is not based on the fact that you did whatever it was that we talked about you doing in your coaching sessions with me. My success is tied to you trying. It is tied to you getting up and giving it your best shot and knowing that I am rooting for you. I am rooting for you to do what is best FOR YOU. For your family…your life…your dreams.
There is a big myth out there right now that you can build a business and it will be 100%purpose driven and that it’ll just fit right into your life like a glove. There are glossy, perfect looking model types out there that tell you that if you just do X, you’ll make it. They tell you these things in videos where they are pool side in exotic places…in cafes in Paris. In their perfectly perfect white decor home office–with a shiny chandelier. And we all start to believe that we, too, can have these things. BE these things. Until we learn that owning a business isn’t just sitting by a pool looking pretty. It is nights and weekends. It is choosing between daycare on Fridays or spending the day with your kids. It’s deciding that if this life–this business life–isn’t right for you right now then there is something wrong with you. You are not enough. You couldn’t handle it while everyone else is handling it….perfectly.
I call bullshit on these stories we say in our heads, and many of you tell me in our business coaching sessions. Starting and running a business is hard work. It’s back breaking and mind numbing at times. It takes calculated (and sometimes just fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants) risk.
It’s ok to call it. It’s ok to say, “Not right now…later.” It’s ok to say, “Holy sh*t, I got into this business thing to do what I love, but mostly I have to do ‘business’ stuff like sales, marketing, bookkeeping.”
Do you know why it’s ok?
Because it’s YOUR path. It’s all learning. It’s all progress. It’s all getting you to where you need to be when you need to be there.
So… let’s say you’re cashing in your chips. You’re done..for now. What can you do to save face?
Let’s think of a great way to tell people; one that is not full of shame or embarrassment. How about this: “The time is not right. I am going to wait until the kids are older.” or “I decided not to pursue that business right now. What are you up to?”
And check this out: we do not owe people outside of our inner, trusted circle any explanation.
Just know that you’re enough just as you are. And if you decide in the future that this dream of yours just has to get out of your head and into you life, then fine. If it never does, know that you tried. You did what you could with what you had at the time. And you are enough–with–or without–a business.